Pure Unadulterated Lust

There is no other word for it.  Not desire, not covetousness.  The only word for what I feel for the Vibram FiveFingers shoe-glove is lust.

Look at them!  How can you not want them?

They announce to the world "I am an important man with important appendages."  This is something the world needs to know.

The protruding parts of my anatomy are so important that each toe requires its own private space.  A place where they can remain undisturbed while researching cures for cancer, designing a portfolio that outperforms the market while being adequately hedged against risk, conducting delicate diplomatic negotiations,  creating new forms of art that will cause you to rethink the human condition and all the other things my toes do on a daily basis. 

And those are just the little toes, I'm not at liberty to disclose what my big toes are doing.

I wear a size 44, in case you're wondering what to get me for Christmas.

Also, I would like a miniature executive desk in black walnut with matching bookcases for my nose.  Affixing it to my upper lip will be difficult but not, I think, insoluble.