Who Would Jesus Vote For?

I'm hearing from a lot of people, many of whom are not Christians, that it is my sacred duty as a Christian to vote for John McCain or Barack Obama or even Chuck Baldwin and Bob Barr. Instead of listening to them, let's look at what the Bible has to say on the matter.

But the thing displeased Samuel when they said, "Give us a king to judge us." And Samuel prayed to the LORD. And the LORD said to Samuel, "Obey the voice of the people in all that they say to you, for they have not rejected you, but they have rejected me from being king over them. According to all the deeds that they have done, from the day I brought them up out of Egypt even to this day, forsaking me and serving other gods, so they are also doing to you. Now then, obey their voice; only you shall solemnly warn them and show them the ways of the king who shall reign over them."

So Samuel told all the words of the LORD to the people who were asking for a king from him. He said, "These will be the ways of the king who will reign over you: he will take your sons and appoint them to his chariots and to be his horsemen and to run before his chariots. And he will appoint for himself commanders of thousands and commanders of fifties, and some to plow his ground and to reap his harvest, and to make his implements of war and the equipment of his chariots. He will take your daughters to be perfumers and cooks and bakers. He will take the best of your fields and vineyards and olive orchards and give them to his servants. He will take the tenth of your grain and of your vineyards and give it to his officers and to his servants. He will take your male servants and female servants and the best of your young men and your donkeys, and put them to his work. He will take the tenth of your flocks, and you shall be his slaves. And in that day you will cry out because of your king, whom you have chosen for yourselves, but the LORD will not answer you in that day."
--1st Samuel 8:6-18

God does not believe in democracy. He is the sovereign Lord of creation and the only vote that matters belongs to Him. Although He permitted the Israelites to choose their king, He condemned their desire to make that choice. So it is with us as Americans: God permits us to choose our leaders and I believe that He condemns us for the trust we put in them. We believe that voting for one sinner over another will affect whether our nation prospers or suffers, but prosperity is a gift of God's grace that He can bestow or revoke according to His perfect judgement. We believe that voting for one sinner over another will keep our nation safe, but God has repeatedly shown in scripture that it is He who controls the fates of nations and the outcomes of battles. We believe that voting for one sinner over another will make our country more righteous, but the righteous are those who live by faith, not those who put their trust in man:

'Can mortal man be in the right before God?
Can a man be pure before his Maker?
Even in his servants he puts no trust,
and his angels he charges with error;
how much more those who dwell in houses of clay,
whose foundation is in the dust,
who are crushed like the moth.
--Job 4:17-19

Moreover, it is God who raises up leaders and brings them low, even bad leaders. As God said to the Pharoah in Exodus 9:16: But for this purpose I have raised you up, to show you my power, so that my name may be proclaimed in all the earth.

In short, this election doesn't really matter that much. God will still be sovereign and His will be done. Am I saying we should not vote? No, I am saying that we should choose who we vote for humbly, prayerfully, asking God for wisdom and acknowledging that our true leader is not a Senator from Arizona or Illinois, He is Jesus of Nazareth, King of Kings and Lord of Hosts. And as your brother in Christ, let me add that I don't care what the atheists and agnostics at National Review say. Whether you vote for McCain or Obama or a third party candidate or even if you write in NONE OF THE ABOVE in all caps, I will pray that God blesses you and continues to sanctify you.

[UPDATE] As either Barack Obama or John McCain will likely be the next president of the United States, we should pray for them: that God would protect them from the temptations their position brings, that He would help them to be humble and that He would guide them to grow in the faith that they both profess. Also, the mean spirited insult comedy that marked previous posts is something God has convicted me of. I'm going to give loving, sober-minded insult comedy a try from now on.

The Obligatory Palin Pregnancy Post

I didn't want to touch this subject, but the wankosphere is going nuts over Bristol's baby. Much of it is quite simply insane. So I'm going to depart from my usual mean spirited snark and inject a little sanity into the debate.

1. There's no evidence that the pregnancy was unwanted. Bristol Palin is a conservative white churchgoer. Like Mexicans, and unlike white liberals, these people love children. You can tell this by counting the number of children they have<. Which means, to take Vox Day's argument a step further, the sex ed vs. abstinence education debate is likely not applicable. No amount of putting condoms on banannas will keep a girl who wants a baby from doing the thing you do to, you know, get babies.

2. Sorry Steve Sailer posters, the kid is not illegitimate if Bristol and Levi get married. And if they do get married, she is not his "baby momma," she is his wife. Yes, Field Negro posters I know Fox News called Michelle Obama a "baby momma," but this means they are, as you well know, racist assholes and not people to emulate.

3. It's not a tragedy for either of them that they're probably being forced into getting married. Shotgun weddings are a tradition that should be brought back. Bristol Palin gets a handsome, athletic, masculine husband who is most likely a good shot. Levi Johnston gets to spend the rest of his life with a child, a decent looking wife with large breasts and well connected in-laws who can help him find a good job. Most young people who conceive a child out of wedlock should be so lucky.

As an aside, I'm probably the only person on earth who reads both The Field Negro and Steve Sailer regularly. If you're curious, I don't really agree with either of them about much, but they're both worth reading for the perspectives they provide. The only blogger on my daily reads that I'm regularly on the same page with is Asabagna, who has tragically stopped updating.

Sorry about that, tomorrow I'll be back to the mean spirited insults.

Putin and the Tiger

Much like the South Ossetians, I'm sorely tempted to put up an "Our President, Vladimir Putin" billboard in the middle of town after hearing that he shot a tiger. Full video is here.

Seriously, this tiger tranquilizing Tartar tyrant should be our next president. I think this table sums things up nicely.

	Vladimir Putin	Barack Obama	John McCain
Shot a Tiger?	Yes	No	No
Democracy	Thinks it doesn't work	Proof it doesn't work	In Iraq yes, America no
Destruction of America	Supports	Reluctantly Supports	In the first 100 days
Understands Georgia conflict?	Yes	No	Hell No
Last name is a fart joke?	Yes	No	No

Is there a nice way to say "I'd rather sniff a turd than vote for your candidate?"

If so, I'd like to know what it is. The election keeps coming up in conversations at work and I fear my responses are offending people.

Mom said that if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all, so I tried not responding. People get really uncomfortable when you stare at them for five minutes without saying a word. So I started saying the nicest thing I could think of. Results have not been positive.

"Senator Obama is good at basketball. I like basketball" doesn't work. I guess people (at least people in Seattle) think it's racist to suggest that a black man who is good at basketball is good at basketball.

On the other end of the spectrum, "I think it's nice that Senator McCain is old and will be dead soon" gets an even worse reaction.

Maybe I should switch jobs. Is there an industry where people don't vote?