"Pride and Prejudice," the favorite book of marriage minded women in the English speaking world is a great many things, the greatest of which is a perfect illustration of a truth universally acknowledged—that there is an enormous gap between what women say they want in a man and the men they want.
If you were to ask any woman of your acquaintance to describe her ideal man, she would probably produce a list similar to the following: kind, open, a good listener, mature, professional, dedicated to self-improvement and capable of paying a decent compliment. If you were to counter that what she really wanted was a cold, arrogant, emotionally distant and occasionally cruel man, she would dispute your claim most furiously. If, on the other hand, you were to ask her opinion of the book’s Mr. Collins and Mr. Darcy, she would shudder with disgust at the first and confess eternal love for the character of the second.
How can this be? Mr. Collins is kind—he wishes to protect the interests of his female cousins. He is open—he discusses every aspect of his life in tireless detail, right down to the hour of his bedtime. He is responsible and dedicated to his profession and the interests of his employer. He not only vigorously seeks his own improvement, but constantly exhorts everyone around him to better themselves. He even spends several hours a week reassuring an old woman of her worth through flattery and kind words. In short, Mr. Collins is everything women (or at least modern American women) claims to desire in a man.
Without exception, women consider Mr. Collins the creepiest, most repellent loser in the history of English literature.
Then we have Mr. Darcy. He is, without question, an asshole. Consider this passage from chapter three where Mr. Darcy first sees the novel’s heroine:
"Oh! She is the most beautiful creature I ever beheld! But there is one of her sisters sitting down just behind you, who is very pretty, and I dare say very agreeable. Do let me ask my partner to introduce you."
"Which do you mean?" and turning round he looked for a moment at Elizabeth, till catching her eye, he withdrew his own and coldly said: "She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me; I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men. You had better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles, for you are wasting your time with me."
Mr. Bingley followed his advice. Mr. Darcy walked off; and Elizabeth remained with no very cordial feelings toward him. She told the story, however, with great spirit among her friends; for she had a lively, playful disposition, which delighted in anything ridiculous.
If your reading comprehension is lacking, what just happened is that Mr. Darcy was not content with merely negging a target, as the pick up artists do. Instead he landed an insult that could only be more crushing if he followed it up by throwing her to the floor and delivering the people’s elbow to her solar plexus. The result is that the lively, intelligent and charming Miss Elizabeth Bennet can neither speak nor think of any other man for days afterwards.
"His pride," said Miss Lucas, "does not offend me so much as pride often does, because there is an excuse for it. One cannot wonder that so very fine a young man, with family, fortune, everything in his favour, should think highly of himself. If I may so express it, he has a right to be proud."
"That is very true," replied Elizabeth, "and I could easily forgive his pride, if he had not mortified mine."
This is beautiful. Mr. Darcy’s savage rudeness is excused by all the women as a DHV, and the particular target is now exerting an exclusive claim on him. Note that she emphasizes the word mine. The only thing missing is speculation that he could run a three legged race all by himself. Presumably the copy editor removed that bit.
As the novel progresses, Mr. Darcy’s character is established as more and more alpha. Consider this passage, where Elizabeth has rejected his first proposal and angrily denounced him.
"Can you deny that you have done it?" she repeated.
With assumed tranquillity he then replied: "I have no wish of denying that I did everything in my power to separate my friend from your sister, or that I rejoice in my success. Towards him I have been kinder than towards myself."
Elizabeth disdained the appearance of noticing this civil reflection, but its meaning did not escape, nor was it likely to conciliate her.
"But it is not merely this affair," she continued, "on which my dislike is founded. Long before it had taken place my opinion of you was decided. Your character was unfolded in the recital which I received many months ago from Mr. Wickham. On this subject, what can you have to say? In what imaginary act of friendship can you here defend yourself? or under what misrepresentation can you here impose upon others?"
"You take an eager interest in that gentleman's concerns," said Darcy, in a less tranquil tone, and with a heightened colour.
"Who that knows what his misfortunes have been, can help feeling an interest in him?"
"His misfortunes!" repeated Darcy contemptuously; "yes, his misfortunes have been great indeed."
"And of your infliction," cried Elizabeth with energy. "You have reduced him to his present state of poverty—comparative poverty. You have withheld the advantages which you must know to have been designed for him. You have deprived the best years of his life of that independence which was no less his due than his desert. You have done all this! and yet you can treat the mention of his misfortune with contempt and ridicule."
"And this," cried Darcy, as he walked with quick steps across
the room, "is your opinion of me! This is the estimation in which you hold me! I thank you for explaining it so fully. My faults, according to this calculation, are heavy indeed! But perhaps," added he, stopping in his walk, and turning towards her, "these offenses might have been overlooked, had not your pride been hurt by my honest confession of the scruples that had long prevented my forming any serious design. These bitter accusations might have been suppressed, had I, with greater policy, concealed my struggles, and flattered you into the belief of my being impelled by unqualified, unalloyed inclination; by reason, by reflection, by everything. But disguise of every sort is my abhorrence. Nor am I ashamed of the feelings I related. They were natural and just. Could you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your connections?—to congratulate myself on the hope of relations, whose condition in life is so decidedly beneath my own?"
This is the true heart of what pick up artists call alpha behavior. He makes no attempt to persuade, defend himself, grovel or apologize. That’s what betas do. The only weakness Mr. Darcy admits to is his interest in a woman as far below his social status as she is.
The rest of the book details how the increasingly obsessed Elizabeth Bennet goes about persuading herself to eventually yield to Mr. Darcy. She even goes to far as to visit his home when she thinks he is away and collect information about him. The novel ends with an improbable white knighting by Mr. Darcy (it is female wish fulfillment lit after all), which conquers all of the heroine’s objections and reduces her to a quivering mass of gratitude, but even after all of this Mr. Darcy is unwilling to drop his masterful reserve and the book ends with him offering her no higher compliment than praising “the liveliness of your mind” and refusing to apologize for being the strong silent type.
As for Mr. Collins, the book ends with him being made the butt of yet another joke.
The point of all of this is very simple. The continuing popularity of Pride and Prejudice is further proof (not that further proof is needed) that when a woman says say that the techniques of pick up artists are ridiculous or that she would never fall for any of them, the woman is lying.
Mr. Darcy would probably pimp slap her. She'd like it.
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